I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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