I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
you made out with another girl for some wings
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
