Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
