Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
