Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
