Pappa wants mamma naked
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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