Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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