How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
