That's intense
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
So many bounce houses so little time
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
