it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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