The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
