Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
