you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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