1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
