if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Randomize
