thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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