So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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