he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
