Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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