Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
