8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
