WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
