No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
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