WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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