I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Randomize
