so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
