do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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