We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
