so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
