It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize