just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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