just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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