Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
