I wish i was in the wii world.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
