you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
