I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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