Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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