i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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