I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
