yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
