your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
