An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
