I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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