since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
