I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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