try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Green mimosas i think yes
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
