so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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