Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize