would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
