So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
