I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
