dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
