Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
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