I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Randomize
