I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
