Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
