The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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