You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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