You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
