girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
