Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
