If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize