we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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