Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize