its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize