I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize