are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
