bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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