Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
